BACK TO SCHOOL! OR IS IT THE PETRI DISH? Posted on July 20, 2021June 4, 2025 by bonmente Remember the thrill of putting the kids back on the bus after their long summer vacation and then going home to listen to … SILENCE? The good old days of 2019, when the most stressful part of going back to school was sourcing the unruled notebook paper on the school supplies list?Like pretty much everything else, COVID-19 took the thrill and carefree joy out of back to school and replaced it with a mountain of stress, worry, uncertainty, and anxiety. The 2021 back to school season makes the stress we had in the pre-pandemic days seem like recess. Schools in California are set to return to in-person classes next month, just as the Delta variant has started teaching us a lesson.As the buses start to roll out and collect our innocent little kids, many of whom are too young for vaccinations, how are we supposed to balance our natural concern and stress with the importance of putting knowledge in those spongy minds?We’ve learned a lot about COVID-19, but so many questions remain.What will the classroom look like?Will everyone wear a mask?How good are these kids at catching their coughs and washing their hands?What if my child isn’t vaccinated yet?Shouldn’t we just continue online for a little while longer?All of these are valid questions and concerns. Though there is a great deal of anxiety around back to school and COVID-19, there are things you can do to protect yourself and your family. Namely, get vaccinated. The CDC recommends that everyone 12 years and older get a COVID-19 vaccination to help protect against COVID-19.But what about our elementary-aged kiddos? What about our preschoolers? As of now, no COVID vaccines have been approved for this age group, and they’re the ones who need a lot of care, guidance, and gentle reminders to practice hygiene when it’s just a regular old “cold season.”Schools are working hard to come up with solutions to keep our kids and their employees safe, but this is a new curriculum and we’re not sure what the real test is going to be yet. As parents, friends, employees, and healthcare professionals, we’re in this with you, wondering how this is going to work and how we are supposed to keep ourselves and our loved ones healthy – physically AND mentally.So here are a few things to remember as we navigate back to school season.Teachers Are SmartIn creating a plan to reopen schools, California has done its homework. A lot of really intelligent people, many of whom have school-aged children, have come to the table to provide insight and contribute to the plan. The CDC, the California Department of Public Health, California Division of Occupational Safety and Health, teachers, child care providers, superintendents, educators, parents, and students weighed in to provide reopening guidance that addresses worries across the spectrum.Learning Is ImportantThanks to scientific research about COVID-19 and the development of vaccines, infection rates are down. We have learned a lot about testing, treating and preventing the spread of COVID-19 in the past 18 months, and that knowledge is going to better prepare us as we head back to school or work. We’ve learned that masks and social distancing not only provided protection from COVID-19, but also from other nasty bugs like the flu. We’ve learned that it’s more important to stay home when you’re feeling sick than to force yourself to go in to work. There is no doubt that we’ve got a lot of learning still to do, but we have knowledge, and knowledge gives us at least some power to protect ourselves.Kids Need To Go To SchoolResearch has shown that the social isolation of quarantine and anxiety of the pandemic has increased depression and anxiety among children around the world, particularly in middle and high schoolers.“For young people, missing significant life events and rites of passage, whether it’s birthday parties or prom, takes a psychological toll,” said Mottsin Thomas, a psychiatrist at bonmente. “Though we won’t entirely realize the mental health effects of COVID-19 for years to come, we know that kids have been having worrisome mood disturbances that come from quarantine-related isolation. They need their friends back.”And they need their teachers back. If you’ve been a “home educator” for the past 18 months, you have probably (and understandably) let Fortnight, TikTok, or Roblox be a substitute teacher at least a few times. In-person learning is infinitely better for a child’s brain development than the most stimulating TikTok ever created.COVID-19 is declining. But mental health issues are on the rise.Even with the Delta variant setback, we have made huge strides in fighting COVID-19. But it’s possible that our next pandemic will be one of mental health proportions. A study at the University of Oxford found that one in three people infected with COVID experienced some type of mental health issue within six months of infection. For those who have been diligently resisting exposure, the isolation, fear, fatigue, stress, and anxiety have also threatened mental wellness.So, How Do You Feel?Almost everyone is experiencing a little burnout these days, and back-to-school is just the point on the pencil. The best protection you have against COVID-19 is a vaccination, a mask, and social distancing, but the best protection you have against COVID-19 triggered mental health issues is early intervention.“The sooner a person gets help for psychiatric symptoms, the sooner they can get better,” said Alicia Bulin, a psychiatric nurse practitioner at bonmente. “The most common mental health complaints – anxiety and depression – can be the most crippling to your day-to-day life, and those are the ones on the rise as a direct result of the pandemic. If you’re not feeling like yourself, there is help.”To make getting help as easy as possible, bonmente offers access to excellent care that is literally at your fingertips thanks to our innovative telepsychiatry interface. Schedule an appointment with our mental health providers today.
Reopening Anxiety: Why Getting Back to Normal Feels So Weird Posted on June 24, 2021June 4, 2025 by bonmente California has officially reopened! The days we dreamed of, with free breathing and carefree contact, are here, even if reopening anxiety makes it feel a bit strange. We’re back to normal!But why does it feel so…. weird?Why does having your whole face exposed feel so awkward? Why does returning to normal have to come with this new sensation of “mask”xiety?Remember back in the pre-Covid times when the most universally socially awkward thing we shared was what to do with our hands? Well, that’s back, and with it is this new worry: what do we do with our masks?Wear it so people don’t think you’re some kind of selfish jerk?Wear it because your kids haven’t been vaccinated yet and you want to keep them safe?Keep it at the ready as a chin strap or an ear accessory until you read the room?Ditch it and walk full-faced and proud into alllll the stores?According to the CDC, “Fully vaccinated people can resume activities without wearing a mask or physically distancing, except where required by federal, state, local, tribal, or territorial laws, rules, and regulations, including local business and workplace guidance.”So, we have permission and the blessing of science to enjoy the liberation of vaccination. But we still have a responsibility to follow the rules of local businesses and our workplace. These are tricky and stressful social situations to navigate, and we are very out of practice since we’ve been hanging out at home for over a year.Awkward Moments Are ‘The New Normal’One of our staff members shared a story with us about riding an elevator that was so relatable. When the elevator doors opened, she noticed the gentleman riding the elevator had his mask on, which left her scrambling through her bag searching for her mask.She’s fully vaccinated and following CDC guidelines yet was still in a panic as she tried to find her mask as a courtesy. Where’s the guidebook on re-entry, CDC? Did anyone get a copy of the Post-Pandemic Manners Manual?Guess what? No manual. We’re all flying blind.So, let’s find the funny.We’re all out of practice with interacting with strangers. Our personal space has grown at least 6 times bigger than it used to be. We’re all relearning how to put makeup on the lower half of our faces, how to manage facial hair that used to be under cover, and how to smile as a gesture. We’re all bumbling through handshake/fist bump blunders.We are all feeling stressed and awkward with our newly returned freedom to exist in the world. We are all figuring this out, day by day, interaction by interaction. So let’s be patient with one another and find the funny in it.We made it! This is what we wanted, what we worked for. Let’s get our high fives tuned up and get them out of retirement.Let’s be kind.People are going to respond differently to re-opening, and just as we didn’t know their personal situations during the pandemic, we still don’t know them now.They could have a parent getting chemo and still have to be extra cautious. Maybe they have kids at home who aren’t eligible for vaccination yet. Some people are unable to get vaccinated due to an allergy or other health condition. Others may feel fearful about the vaccination and haven’t yet worked through those emotions.Some people may not be ready to unmask, for a variety of reasons, and that’s okay. Wearing a mask is absolutely not going to hurt anyone.So, be kind if your friend wants to wear a mask at group gatherings that are outside. Show compassion if your family members opt out of gatherings and events for a while. A little understanding will go a long way in this awkward recovery.“We’ve all had a tough year, physically and emotionally,” said Jordan Blaine, a psychiatric nurse practitioner with bonmente. “The CDC has given a green light to vaccinated people, but how fast we jump back into society is a personal choice. Do what feels right, safe, and good for you.”Let’s be real. And get help when we need it.Anxiety and depression have exploded during the pandemic. Even though “getting back to normal” sounds amazing, it may be as psychologically debilitating as Covid-19. If re-entering society has your skin crawling, you could need some extra help from the pros at bonmente. “The past year was full of trauma, uncertainty, and fear,” said Kayleigh Soto, a therapist at bonmente. “We have spent the past year alone or in small groups and now we’re expected to co-exist with others and be excited about it. It’s easy to see how reopening could trigger anxiety, but with the right treatment, you can get to the joy of it.”There is no right or wrong way to handle re-entry, but it’s essential to go at your own pace and view challenges as opportunities to build resilience. If you need a little help with that, give bonmente a call.Bonmente offers comprehensive treatments and guidance to manage anxiety, depression, and all other mental health issues. Schedule an appointment with our mental health providers today.
WHEN DOES ANXIETY BECOME A DISORDER? Posted on June 7, 2021June 4, 2025 by bonmente Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time. A little bit of worry is part of life. You might find yourself worrying about normal life stressors related to your career, finances, or relationships. These stressors can serve a useful purpose at times by motivating you to be productive or reach a specific goal.But the problem starts when these worries consume you.Most people can overcome these thoughts and move on. Unfortunately, for someone with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), the worrying grows out of control. Your intrusive thoughts take hold and prevent you from living life. Most days, you feel worried about things even when you can’t exactly identify a single underlying cause.When these persistent and pervasive thoughts linger and disrupt your daily life, it’s a sign that you might be experiencing something more than a little bit of worry.“For someone suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, it’s not about sudden feelings of panic and being overwhelmed,” said Dr. Mottsin Thomas of bonmente. “It’s more about the lingering feelings that make it hard to concentrate and function each day.”Common Signs of Generalized Anxiety DisorderEveryone has different triggers that cause stress. Bouts of situational stress can arise from meeting deadlines at work to facing a significant life change like the death of a loved one. Your personal stress level will differ based on your personality and response.If you feel increasing worry, intrusive thoughts, and lingering uncertainty, watch out for these common signs that anxiety might be taking over your life.Upset stomachIncreased agitation or irritabilityDifficulty concentratingFatigueHeadachesDepressionSleep problemsHow To Break Free From WorryGeneralized anxiety disorder is one of the most common mental illnesses in the nation. Nearly one-third of adults in the U.S. experience complex cases of consuming anxiety at some point in their life. Unfortunately, anxiety is often accompanied by depression, creating a vicious cycle of dangerous thought loops that fuel each other. With treatment at bonmente, though, you can take control of anxiety and unburden yourself of constant worry.1. Take a timeout.When anxiety grabs ahold of you, it can feel impossible to shove it off. But often that’s exactly what you need to do to get through the intensity. Put yourself in timeout and do something to slow your mind. Stretch your body out, listen to music, or try a meditation app to get some space between you and the source of your anxiety. You’ll likely find that when you come back to it, it doesn’t have as tight a grip as it initially did. 2. Remember to breathe.You can get your body to relax with something as simple and available as breathing. Yes, this thing you do without any thought is an amazing tool for managing anxiety. You can try alternate nostril breathing, where you breathe in and out of one nostril while holding the other closed. The 4-7-8 breathing technique is also effective. To do the 4-7-8 technique you’ll part your lips and make a “whoosh” sound as you exhale completely. Then you close your lips and inhale silently as you count to four in your head. Hold that breath for seven seconds. And finally, exhale with the “whoosh” for a count of eight. Do this for four breaths, holding your tongue against the roof of your mouth through the whole process, and you should feel more relaxed.3. Turn fears into curiosity. Studying your anxiety is probably the last thing you want to do, but it can be helpful. Look at it like you’re a detective and try to identify what may be triggering anxiety for you. Maybe it’s work-related, perhaps it’s relationship-based? Discovering sources could allow you to better prepare and manage anxiety when the trigger is introduced. Journaling is great in helping to identify triggers, as it gives you a task to focus on when you feel out of control and ends up giving you a lot of data relating to your anxiety.Everyone’s anxiety is different.Since we all experience anxiety differently, it’s essential to create a treatment plan designed to work for YOU. With treatment at bonmente, you can take control of anxiety and unburden yourself of constant worry. Reach out to today for personalized support.
THE FOOD and MOOD CONNECTION Posted on December 21, 2020June 4, 2025 by bonmente Food is good. It tastes delicious, it anchors us socially, it inspires special memories, and our bodies need it. And, sometimes when we polish off that pint of ice cream on the couch after an awful day, we feel better. Until we don’t.Nutritional psychiatry is an emerging area of study that evaluates the link between food and mood.Studies around the globe have shown that eating “healthy” foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and healthy fats can protect mental health and that eating “junk” foods like potato chips and ice cream can threaten it. But how?“The gut is full of serotonin receptors, so it’s not surprising that scientific research into food and mood is supporting what conventional wisdom has taught us,” said Mottsin Thomas, a psychiatrist at bonmente. “Serotonin is a neurotransmitter, one also found in the brain, that is associated with feelings of happiness and with circadian rhythms. This chemical link, known as the gut-brain axis, offers new potential in helping people with anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.”The perfect menu has yet to be put together, but research has shown fruits and vegetables are central to a mood-improving diet.Higher fruit and vegetable consumption has been correlated with lowering the prevalence of depression and anxiety. One interesting study from 2013 showed mood improvement the day of and the day after increased intake of fruits and vegetables among young adults.A traditional Mediterranean diet also shows promise in mental health improvement, as does a mostly vegetarian diet and the Alternative Healthy Eating Index-2010 diet. All of these diets emphasize fruits and vegetables, nuts and legumes, monounsaturated fats like extra virgin olive oil and polyunsaturated omega-3 fatty acids from fish. They also stay away from processed meats, refined carbohydrates, and sweets.So, what should you put on your plate?There’s no doubt that ice cream band-aids and pizza binges are here to stay, but if you want to improve your mental health, they can’t be your main source of sustenance. Here are some mood-improving foods to reach for instead.1. Dark ChocolateDark chocolate, not milk chocolate, is high in flavonoids, which increase blood flow to your brain, reduce inflammation, and improve brain health. Talk about a pick-me-up.2. YogurtYogurt, like other fermented foods, helps sustain populations of healthy bacteria in your gut, which may increase serotonin levels. Research is ongoing, but it appears to show connections between a healthy gut microbiome and lower rates of depression.3. BananasStep aside apples, it’s time for bananas to get the limelight. Full of vitamin B6, which helps with dopamine and serotonin production, bananas provide a slow sugar release and helps prevent energy dumps that can cause mood dips.4. NutsA 2019 study over 10 years and following nearly 16,000 people found that eating nuts was linked to a 23% lower risk of depression. Brazil nuts, pine nuts, and almonds contain brain-important minerals zinc and selenium.5. Coffee & TeaBoth coffee and tea have demonstrated an antidepressant effect, with one study of 50,000 women finding that 2-3 cups of caffeinated beverages decreased the likelihood of depression by 15%. If coffee give you the jitters or prompts anxiety, try green or black tea.Bonmente offers comprehensive treatments and guidance to manage anxiety, depression, and all other mental health issues. Schedule an appointment with our mental health providers today.
HOW TO BREAK THOUGHT LOOPS Posted on October 14, 2020December 3, 2025 by bonmente It’s a perfectly normal day. You’re driving to work or to dropping the kids at school, maybe even going to the gym. Nothing is particularly bothersome.And then your brain, being the busy body that it is, decides to plant a seed.Something like, “what if the brakes failed right now?” Or perhaps something less catastrophic and more critical like, “why am I such a loser that I can’t even be on time?” Maybe it just sends up a flare that ignites the “oh gosh, I have a deadline in 3 days” worry.Once it grabs your attention, that negative thought takes hold of your whole thought process, maybe even changes your whole mood. It can trigger anxiety, affect sleep, impact relationships, and sap your productivity. It’s a ride no one wants to be on.So, how do you break the cycle?“Understanding why you get stuck in these loops is the first step to getting out of them,” said Mottsin Thomas, a psychiatrist at bonmente. “Thought loops are your brain’s way of trying to get to an egosyntonic state, meaning your mind is trying to confirm deep-seated beliefs, fears, or insecurities that you have — even if they’re unfounded.”Understanding why you get stuck in these loops is the first step to getting out of them.By giving the intrusive thought attention, you are trying to work through it. But that’s the trap. What you really do is solidify the loop. Here are some tips for breaking the loop. 1. Come back to the present.When your mind takes off on its own imaginary journey, reign it in by deliberately focusing on the moment. Notice the sounds around you. Take in any smells. Look closely at the license plate ahead. Is there wind? How would you describe the shirt you are wearing right now? Put your attention anywhere else, and the most readily available, innocuous place is typically the minute you’re in.2. Be curious about the thought.When an intrusive thought loop hijacks your focus, the natural inclination is to provide a counter to the unwanted suggestion, or a strategy to manage it, even if it is unlikely or untrue. Say you’re getting ready for a social outing and you brain sneaks in with, “I bet you’re going to say something stupid to embarrass yourself.” Your next thought will most likely be about some strategy to avoid embarrassing yourself. If you want to avoid the thought loop, make the next thing you ponder the thought itself.Is the thought serving you? Is it harming you?What’s the purpose of the thought?Is it true? Absolutely true?Who would you be without the thought?How would you feel without the thought?3. Prepare for the next one. According to a study published in the journal Science, nearly half of our waking lives are spent thinking about something other than what we’re doing. Every time our mind wanders, it gives intrusive negative thoughts an opportunity. Expect it to happen again and again, and make a plan to deal with it when it does. Refine your approach as you learn what works for you and what doesn’t.If thought loops are out of your control, remember there is help. The best way to break intrusive thought loops is through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which teaches you to identify core beliefs that trigger these types of automatic thoughts. By challenging those core beliefs with professional guidance, you learn to manage the intrusiveness and decrease the distress the thoughts cause. bonmente can help you break the cycle of negative thought loops and keep anxiety from spiraling. Schedule an appointment with our mental health providers today.
FINDING BALANCE WITH BOUNDARIES Posted on September 22, 2020June 4, 2025 by bonmente Working from home seemed like such a gift in the spring. Tossing in loads of laundry throughout the day and taking breaks to have lunch with the kids or walk the dog were welcome escapes from the computer grind.But did having your computer at the kitchen table or in your bed make work a bigger part of your life than you intended? Are you taking calls at 8pm and checking emails one last time before you go to sleep?You got addicted. Lots of us did.Finding work-life balance was hard enough when you had hours during which you were physically removed from the office. Now that it’s all under one roof, that balance is totally out of whack. So, how do you get back in balance?Set Boundaries.“Setting boundaries may feel like you’re being insubordinate, but boundaries are as important in work relationships as in personal ones,” said Mottsin Thomas, MD, a psychiatrist at bonmente. “Boundaries take the burden of saying no off of you. By establishing a limit, you teach you colleagues how to treat you and what they can expect from you. You also make yourself and your health a priority, which will likely improve your performance in the long run.”Work can be a subtle creep on your mental health, but it can have dramatic consequences. In an effort to unwind, you may find you’re drinking too much or too often. Poor sleep can negatively affect your mood as much as your productivity. And that unrelenting stress, well, that can lead to anxiety and depression and cause relationships to suffer.Setting boundaries doesn’t have to be difficult. It simply requires some self reflection and some self respect. Here are some tips to help you get back into balance.1. Rank your priorities.It helps to know where to draw the line if you know what your line is. For instance, if a Wednesday night pizza party with your family is the thing that brings you joy each week, don’t let a Friday project deadline steal it from you. If a morning workout is what keeps you sane, RSVP “Unable to Attend” to that 7:30am Zoom meeting. Think about your life and what is most important to you. Figure out where work is on that hierarchy. Knowing what your priorities are will help you draw the boundaries for your life.2. Create structure.Creating structure in your day will help you better manage your time and be able to accomplish all that you need to accomplish. If you have a meeting, designate a time frame for it, make an agenda, and stick to it. If you notice a lot of your productivity is interrupted by instant messages or texts, consider scheduling a weekly or daily “check-in” with the source of the distraction. By formalizing a meeting, you’ll bring structure to your interactions as opposed to responding to whims. If you’re working from home, create a structure to limit your hours. Work those hours and then “clock out” — don’t check or reply to emails or texts and resist the urge to work on projects. 3. Say “No.”You don’t want to risk opportunities for growth, or your job, by saying no to everything, but boundary setting means saying no sometimes. If a work task tries to hijack a life priority, say no. Give yourself permission to say no, and allow a compromise to evolve out of it. Say “no” strategically. For instance, if you’re taking on too much because of guilt or a sense of obligation, talk to your employer about how assuming responsibility for this latest thing could be detrimental to the projects you’re already working on. Make suggestions for other ways it could be done that don’t make it your exclusive burden. Say “no” at home too. If you don’t want to do something — a play date, watching your grandkids, helping your friend fix his car — say “no.” It’s not a dirty word and you’re not rude if you say it. 4. Unplug.Unplug all the things that beckon you to work or blur the line between work and life. If television during your work time is affecting your productivity, unplug it. If your cell phone in the evening is interfering with dinner with your family, turn it off. Turning off notifications — all the subtle bells, dings, and whooshes that our devices whisper to seduce us back to them — will ultimately feel like taking off a leash. Don’t worry, the text will be there when you pick up your phone again, as will the Instagram stories and Twitter insults and the news headlines and the funny videos of that screaming bird. Shifting your focus from technology to the world around you, efforts known as “digital detox” or “dopamine fasting,” is suspected to have positive effects on anxiety, mood, and overall happiness. If you’re working from home, unplug on the weekends and allow yourself to decompress.Boundaries show you care about yourself… and your performance.“No one is creative when they’re exhausted, no one is efficient when they’re feeling pressured, no one comes up with clever solutions when they’re distracted by a million other things,” said Dr. Thomas, who said work-life balance is a prominent issue for many of his patients. “Boundaries show you care about yourself, and by caring about yourself, you’re actually showing that you care about your performance and your career.” bonmente can help you discover the value of boundaries and how to get life back in balance. Schedule an appointment with our mental health providers today.
